Teresa is in her 60’s and under house arrest, the Spanish Inquisition is in full swing and the head of the Carmelite Order has leveled charges and labeled her a “restless female, a vagabond, disobedient and obstinate.” He says, “She thinks up false doctrines under the appearance of piety.” He didn’t call her a nasty woman, but I think he implied it. Teresa is a problem because she is so successful. She has built a network of reformed monastic communities through her persistence and relentless pursuit. She is charismatic and steals hearts, she is charming and stubborn and she won’t take no for an answer. Her revolution was full of warmth, laughter and dancing. Her practices did not leave anyone downcast, her piety wasn’t drab and her spirit pulsed with life. When she set her mind to starting a new community, the Bishop said it’s as good as done and when she asked the accountant if they had money to expand a church, the likely sarcastic response of “we have a penny” sounded like a resounding yes. She organized groups of women in networks, they fixed up dilapidated spaces, lived in poverty and worked as the hands and feet of God’s love…and this got everyone upset…or at least the people with the most power.

She wasn’t always raising the eyebrows of the church authorities, her early years as a monastic resembled more of a private women’s seminary of wealthy daughters. She was the daughter of a wealthy wool merchant, wealthy enough to be accused of practicing Judaism during the inquisition. His family had converted to save their lives from the violent antisemitism of Europe and wealthy families were often the targets of their neighbors. Teresa was not only wealthy but beautiful. She was charming and lovely and smart. This seems to be a theme when we read the stories of women monastic leaders and I am not sure if the biographers want us to know these women had options when they tell us they “turn heads" or if it's just because we obsess over women leaders and how they look. We are always judging women by their looks and discussing their wardrobe, is her outfit too tight or too frumpy or too pantsuit-ie (I’m making that a new word). No matter the reason, we know Teresa draws people in, beautiful inside and out, and we can also know that her choice to become a monastic has an impact on her family, as a beautiful wealthy young Spanish woman would have been expected to help build the family economy through her marriage. Instead of marriage she chooses the monastic life…and it's a pretty nice life. She joins a well appointed Abbey, with furnished apartments, enjoys guests and dinners and while they do their prayers…it sounds like Teresa might have been watching the seconds tick away and wishing mass was over. Then she gets sick, so sick a grave is dug and she is immobilized. She battles her sickness for three years and emerges changed; determined to bring life into the world by reforming her faith community.

She becomes relentless in leading the sisters around her to a greater work, she builds new spaces and pursues her mission with drive and discipline. She has skin as thick as titanium and won’t take no for an answer when the question of doing God’s work is presented. But the thing that gets her in real trouble is how she understands and teaches prayer. Rather than written prayers, she invites people inside, “The God who dwells in us will make Himself known to us.” She has ecstatic experiences of God’s presence and greets them with a critical eye and a humble heart, she names Christ as partner and God as friend, remarking that had she known God was inside she wouldn’t have left God alone for so long. “The God who dwells in us will make Himself known to us.” She invited centering on God’s love and reminded everyone that prayer has more to do with the focus of your heart and mind than it does with just “moving your lips.” She centered on God’s love and it shaped her life, gave her courage and was the seed of her call. This indwelling God is why the church hierarchy’s authority didn’t bother her even when it wanted to.

Teresa emerges at a time when the enlightenment thinking is beginning to permeate Europe. The structures that were long accepted will be open to question, even if only a little and the notion that the individual has worth and value will apply not just to the rich ruling elites but even to women. Two years after Teresa is born, Martin Luther will begin the reformation with his 95 theses nailed to the University Church Door in Wittenberg and in her lifetime a woman will rule as Queen of England…without a King by her side. But in Spain, religious leaders will push back discussing whether women should learn to read the Bible at all and encouraging women to be at home and not read anymore than necessary. Spanish wives sign their letters “Your wife and slave, who loves you very much.” Perhaps this is why Teresa said no to marriage and sought liberation in monastic life. Spanish leaders advised men to limit their wives’ spiritual practice, no pilgrimage, no prayer, “The moment you see your wife…imagining that she is a saint, close the door of your house and if that should fail break her leg.” Violence is an acceptable and necessary response to women feeling empowered by their faith and Teresa was all about empowering people’s faith.

Teresa’s prayer resonates in this moment and challenges the religious authorities precisely because there is no spoken word. They have control over everything, even the prayers but interior reflection means no one tells you what to say, no theologian designs the prayer, a priest hasn’t picked the scripture and no one is even going to spell check the liturgy…because there isn’t one. It is up to you, it is through you and it is dangerous because it is powerful. This is why Teresa was undaunted by the accusations against her. This is why she was relentless in her work, she was fueled by prayer that shaped her in the image of Christ and in the work of love. This is why she pushed back against the people who tried to put women in their place, she knew Jesus empowered women in their faith. She pushed back against the women and men who tried to put her in her place. “The world is wrong when it demands that we not be allowed to work for you. Nor would it have us speak out truths for whose sake we weep in secret, nor have you lend an ear to our just requests. For you are no judge like the judges of the world…nothing but men who cast suspicion on every good capacity in women…but I reproach our time for rejecting minds that are strong and gifted for all that is good only because they happen to be women.”

Her spirituality gave her courage to proclaim and build a world that didn’t exist yet and when folks tried to bind her or bring her before the inquisition she said, “There is something great about the certainty of conscience and the freedom of the mind.” And while her teachings invite inward focus and centering prayer, she believes prayer produces action, “nothing but action.” It wasn’t to sit and gaze inward hour after hour…it was to be shaped in love for action. She preached on Mary and Martha, believing there was space for both of them in each of us and she led by example. She cooked, she cleaned, she wove wool and did the sewing, she cared for the administrations, she rode across the Spanish countryside starting new communities. Even as she builds a network of Abbeys she says, “the Lord, awaits you amid the pots and pans.”

Teresa’s inward journey shaped her day and her life in love that poured into the people around her. “We can’t tell whether we love God, but people can see whether we love our neighbor.” Her teachings became so powerful that young monks sought her out and with her help they began to reform not only the women’s monastic communities, but the mens. It was the final straw that led to her arrest. She was stripped of her order, sisters were excommunicated and charges were leveled against her. And yet she never stopped working, she wrote and bargained and asked for help until at long last, help came. Help came in the form of the King of Spain and the Pope. The two most powerful men around at long last sided with Teresa. She was restored to her work just two years before she died, but her teachings and her spirit live on.

This is a season when the tensions are as high as the stakes and pausing to shape our lives in love, taking an inward journey might just help us dwell with greater compassion for our neighbors. Centering before we act, speak, write, post, and connect might just be what the world needs from us. Teresa reminds us to go inside, the God who made us will meet us there and send us out, if we have the courage to follow. Amen.

P.S. Interested in reading more, you may love God’s Gentle Rebels by Christan Feldman. Feldman is a good story teller and fun to read. If you are up for reading the whole text there are wonderful translations by Mirabai Starr and you can of course order them from the Abbey or another local shop…shop small, if you are going to shop.