The Wedding at Cana John 2: 1-12

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, ‘They have no wine.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’ Now standing there were six stone water-jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, ‘Fill the jars with water.’ And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, ‘Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.’ So they took it. When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom and said to him, ‘Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.’ Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples; and they remained there for a few days.

Mary moms Jesus into his ministry. This is the story of Jesus launching his ministry in the Gospel of John. Jesus, his Mom, and his disciples are at a wedding when the unthinkable happens …they run out of wine. This is an epic party foul, which cannot be fixed by sending someone to the store. It is an epic party foul in a culture with a strict hierarchy of shame and honor, and the neighbors will not look kindly on this mistake, so Mary takes action.

She finds Jesus and says, ‘They have no wine.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.’

Woman, what concern is that to you and me? He calls his Mom, Woman, and then says what concern is that to you and me? There is no more dialogue between Mary and Jesus, but Jesus does take action, so I can only imagine that she gave him the look. The look that says, “you will rethink your position.” The look that says, “you will be concerned.” The look that a mom can give that says, “there will be action taken and you will shape up and step up.” The look that says it all with complete silence.

Perhaps you have received a look like this—the look from someone who loves you and knows you can do better. I don’t know if Jesus got this look all the time but he certainly knows it’s time to take action. Maybe Mary has been an avid look giver. Maybe she read some ancient version of the book Tiger Mom and is always driving Jesus to step up into his future, or at least to stand up straight, chew with his mouth closed, use his manners and speak up loud and proud. Or maybe Mary is looking at a 30 year old man thinking, “JESUS, get off the couch and get on with it.” Whatever the reason or the backdrop of the moment, Mary moms Jesus into his work.

Jesus isn’t the only one who sees ‘the look’ because the servants are on it, Mary tells them to do what ever Jesus asks and they step right up to do it. They bring huge vessels for water and take it to the steward as Jesus asks. The Wine Steward has such a response he calls the Bride Groom, astounded that the best wine was saved for last. This is the first sign, the first symbol of this table turning ministry, the party looks like it is over and now they bring out the best wine. It is a moment of abundance in a world of scarcity and the party goes on. That’s how Jesus makes his Mama proud, he keeps the party going and fills the community with good wine, when they thought the party was over.

Sometimes you just need a Mom. Mary launches Jesus in to his work and she stays along side him. Perhaps you know that look. Mary invites us to think of our own lives and the people who have mom-ed us into our work or our best selves. The world is full of stories and narratives about Moms, perhaps sometimes a little too much. There are books about Tiger Moms who push their kids to their highest performance and there is an essay about Dragon Moms who protect the wellbeing of their vulnerable little ones. There are Mama Bears with whom no one wants to mess. There are hashtags about #momlife, there are sippy cups for Mommy’s wine, and tote bags that say, “Nothing in this bag belongs to me” because moms carry everybody's stuff (literally and figuratively). Moms tend the details of life and maybe the details of your life, every little detail…all the time until sometimes we get annoyed by how much moms mom us. It might sound like loving reminders to “sit up straight”, “stop playing with your food,” “ use your manners…no really did you say thank you,” “chew with your mouth closed,” “use your inside voice,” Sweetie chew with your mouth closed,” “speak up, a little louder, no one can hear you speak up….loud and proud.” You get what I mean and this is usually the point where we might roll our eyes and say, “OK MOOOOOMMMM.”

There is a phrase, Nit-Picking, that we might apply to our moms sometimes. There are no positive connotations to this phrase, I looked. It’s tending small details, it’s exacting, and one synonym was oppressive. But this summer I did some actual Nit-Picking and I tell you it is an act of love. You would not Nit-Pick for someone you do not love (unless you are Lice Centers of America and I have handed you a pile of cash). If you have done it, you know it, and if you have done it you have probably jumped in to offer solutions and advise and support to new nit-pickers. There is actually a fine tooth comb and it take hours of care picking though every little hair on the scalp. Frankly I don’t know what happens if you need someone to nit-pick for you and you are alone because it is not something you could do for yourself. Every parent or care giver or grandparent I talked to had a story of endless hours of combing hair, advise on washing with apple cider vinegar or going straight to a prescription shampoo, strategies for doing the laundry and then doing it again and again and again…until at last you are home free. Nit Picking is an act of love. It is hard work done in love and the perfect metaphor for divine parenting at work in us. We are valued enough to grow, our health is valuable enough to be centered.

A love that will nit-pick is a fierce love. It is a love that nurtures us into our best, healthiest selves (literally and figuratively). Parenting love is hard work and in the everyday details. It is fierce like a Mama Bear and protective like a Mama Eagle. And this love changes the world. Emmett Till’s mom, Mamie Till-Mobley showed the nation its sin of white supremacy by bring everyone to see what violent men did to her beautiful child. Deloris Huerta stopped high-level labor negotiations to breast feed because that was the whole point of paying families a living wage. We witness school shootings again and again and mom who have had enough are banning together to say no more destruction to our sacred children, through Moms Demand Action. An Army of Moms should probably be sent into every conflict!

Mother is a powerful metaphor for God. She loves us enough to Nit-Pick us to our best selves and she will show up fierce as a mama bear and tender as a mama hen pulling us under her wings. Of course every metaphor is just a metaphor and are mostly perfectly-imperfect attempts to name the unnameable and grapple with the awe inspiring infinite love that mostly makes our mouths gape open when we have a genuine experience of it. So Mother God, like Father God has its limits because parenting is hard. Parenting requires love and vulnerability and not every parent is ready to parent or healthy enough to parent and some are down right vile in their treatment of the little ones they should be nurturing. Parenting is hard and even the healthiest parent-child relationships involve mistakes and missteps and clarify the reality that parents are learning to parent too.

Of course another struggle we have with this metaphor is that it seems to make folks a bit uncomfortable even if they don’t mind or in fact love a Father God. This is in part because our tradition has been been uncomfortable with the feminine, (to put it lightly.) Early church fathers struggled with their own bodies and sexuality and just like the Hebrew tradition we inherited, their efforts to distinguish themselves from the religious communities around them, with Goddesses, means they buttoned everything up and never talked about bodies or birth or sexuality…at least not in a positive way. And Mothering God opens those doors right back up for us to consider. Mother God births and this involves her whole body, from conception to birth to nurturing; mothering is messy and painful and risky and nipples get cracked from breast feeding. Mother God is physical but if we can embrace this for a moment rather than saying, “Gross” like a bunch of Seventh Graders there is something rich for our spirituality.

Theologian Sally McFauge names Mother God’s ethic as justice, one who longs to bring life and longs to see that life valued and nurtured. Mother God wants us to love all of creation as kin, treating life as sacred. There is no room for doctrine of original sin to make Her babies less than holy. Sin is not something to be punished but something to be corrected because it wounds your brother or sister or sibling or creation. Elizabeth Johnson’s text She Who Is shows us how mother God reshapes our understanding of God’s power. “The loud birthing cries evoke a God who is in hard labor, sweating, pushing with all Her might to bring forth justice, the fruit of her love. Intense suffering as an ingredient in intense creative power marks the depth of divine involvement in the process. And it is not over yet (p255).” God’s power isn’t yelling commands, making folks comply and demanding punishment, God’s power is co-creation, risky and messy and painful and loving. You see, metaphors matter because if we see Mother God as powerful, we change how we see power and maybe even how we care for one another.

Maybe She is giving us the look, just like Mary gave Jesus. Maybe she is reminding us to listen and love and speak up loud and proud, to take a nap and eat our veggies and perhaps even chew with our mouth closed. Maybe She is mom-ming us in to our best selves and our best community. And maybe we like Jesus some times look back and want to say, “Woman, what concern is that to me and you?” And then she give us the look, if we are watching.

Someone is hungry, what concern is that to you and me? Someone is lonely, what concern is that to you and me? Someone is wounded or sick or hurt or battered…what concern is that to me? Someones has all the money while others scrape by, someone is abusing their power and people, and someone needs a safe, warm place to stay…what concern is that to me? And She moms us into our better selves.