One Minute at a Time: Mr. Rogers’ Spiritual Gift

Scripture: Matthew 14: 22-23

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. 

Halfway to Silence

By May Sarton (one of Mr. Roger’s favorite poets and a poem she read on his program)

I was halfway to silence

Halfway to land’s end

When I heard your voice.

Shall I take you with me?

Shall we go together?

All the way to silence,

All the way to land’s end?

Is there a choice?

—

Perhaps you remember Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood? Perhaps you longed for a closet of sweaters and imagined changing your shoes at the door? Maybe you watched it growing up, maybe your kids watched it - or maybe you are like me and watched Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood thinking this tamed Tiger, X the Owl and King Friday seemed oh so familiar only to realize that they were. Mr. Rogers created a landmark program with a singular focus of caring for children, understanding their development, honoring their feelings and inspiring the best in all of us. And Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood was a further iteration of his work, passion and care. 

Fred Rogers began every program the same way: a yellow flashing street light, changing to a comfy sweater, singing the same song. He started every broadcast with this same ritual and it launched him into hard topics. His very first national broadcast involved King Friday building a wall to keep the changers out. He cared so much about children that he wanted them to know how to make peace. He explained the hard words like assassination and spent a week on programming about death and divorce. He broached every topic we hesitate to talk about with grown-ups. He wrote scripts, produced the show, wrote the songs and learned and studied with the best in child development along the way. He relentlessly pursued the creation of sacred space where the best in humanity could be honored and developed - and I believe he did this grounded in his faith. 

Rogers, arguably a busy man, made time for silence and space for God. He fiercely guarded his quiet space and honored the spiritual disciplines that gave him life. Before he changed a single sweater or tied one shoe, he woke every day at 5:00am and checked his twitter, scanned his email and read the newspaper. I’m kidding, that is not what he did first or ever, rather into the silence he prayed the names of friends and family out loud. He filled his first moments of the day with the names of people he loved. 

He prepared to swim, every day moving his body through the water and just before diving in he sang a song from Taizé. One of his spiritual mentors and friends, Henri Nouwen, shared the wisdom of Taizé, a protestant monastic community in France that centers worship on singing simple songs and honoring silence. Every morning his ritual invoked the wisdom of his spiritual neighborhood, even as he alone dove into the water singing “Rejoice in the Lord.” After his swim he changed for the day and weighed himself at 143 pounds…every day of his life (now that is discipline!). Leaving the pool, he walked into the studio and at the door he prayed, “Dear God let some word that is heard be yours.”  

He was intentional and driven but frenzied and hurried, “Being quiet and slow is being myself, and that is my gift.” Even the pace of his cadence was slow and one late night talk show host was surprised to find Fred Rogers to be true to life, and Mr. Rogers ever gently named the feelings and gave permission for Johnny Carson to laugh (Tonight Show, 1980). Being slow was his gift. You the partner in conversation, you were worth the time. He made space for time on his show, not only in the ritual of each broadcast but exploring fast and slow, he countered the world bias toward action. His half hour was simple and slow, making space in one broadcast for everyone to see what a minute feels like by setting an egg timer for one minute in what would have been considered dead air for another producer. Silence was sacred space, not dead air. In one broadcast, a scientist was helping the neighborhood and all of us hear some fish…apparently noisy fish and even though they had everything set, people and equipment in place and the food to help invite the fish...well, it just didn’t work out. The scientist got nervous…like any of us would…filling the ‘dead air time…”well I’m sure they will be ready in just a moment” or “I guess these fish are not very hungry.” But Fred saw this as a chance to be patient. He believed, “Development comes from within. Nature does not hurry but advances slowly.” He slowed things down and it was his gift. Researchers found its impact; children watching Mr. Rogers had a higher “tolerance of delay”; they could wait and were more patient…perhaps less tugging to get Mom or Dad’s attention (Friedich and Stein, 1973). 

We are tuned to action. We tell the stories and they start with “You won’t believe what happened...” or “we were doing this or going here when….” Our stories are actions. We have, as Mr. Roger’s suggests, “a bias toward action.” Even if the silence and the stillness makes all of the action possible…we tend not to talk about it. We never talk about gas stations, unless there is some wild and irregular event but they are essential to getting us and our cars where we want to be. Spiritual formation is the fuel in our day, the energy for our destination. And maybe it only takes a few moments but it is essential. 

Our scripture tells a similar story. Jesus learns from those who went before, sensing God in the still small voice or burning in a bush. If you take a moment to look at Matthew chapter 14 and your study Bible happens to be like some of mine…it will give you big headlines. In this chapter, you find Jesus feeding 5,000, then walking on water and offering healing. This verse about Jesus dismissing the crowd and going up to pray alone is almost lost in the dramatic, big loud lines. Jesus has gathered thousands of people, teaches them to break bread and suddenly a small offering turns into bread for everyone, everyone…I believe becomes a neighbor and shares the food they have and there is more than enough. Jesus sends the disciples off in a boat and dismisses the crowds and goes off to pray, alone in the silence and connecting deeply with God. I sometimes wonder if we would even have this line if it wasn’t so essential for what happens next. Jesus approaching the weary disciples as they sense him coming to them from across the water. But these two little verses deserve a big highlight. They remind us of Jesus pausing, being still and appreciating silent places. I would argue that it fuels his work; the big headlines and the wow moments are impossible without this sacred pause. 

Perhaps you, like me, struggle with taking a pause. Spiritual Formation feels so serious and so separate, like we must take a retreat at the mountains or walk the El Camino across Spain…maybe on our knees. Perhaps a month long retreat in a quite monastery isn’t in the cards but maybe one minute could be. One minute, carve out one minute at a time. One minute, just like Mr. Rogers taught us. We don’t have to make spiritual formation impossibility hard, we need it make ordinary; constant little methods to shape our day, our presence and our heart. Maybe there is space for a little intention? Perhaps as you enter the door of your house you could say a prayer of blessing and gratitude, to set the intention for the space and your time in it. When the Abbey is in full swing, we say welcome as folks enter the space, not just hi but welcome and in my mind I say, “Thank God.” It helps reset my thinking and remind me that this guest is sacred and not an interruption of the other work in which I was engaged. Maybe we are not going to many places right now but perhaps a breath before your next Zoom or call, a deep breath, a pause for gratitude for another or a pause to claim how you want to show up, might just make us all a little better at being present with each other. Maybe you could try praying for your neighborhood as you walk your block or a mantra as you step forward that we might all step forward in love. 

What a difference a pause might make. Consider it? That sacred silence, that pause pregnant with possibilities - it is yours to fuel the next big headline of the day. Fred Rogers offered this reminder to the broadcasting community as he accepted an award: “It seems to me, though, that our world needs more time to wonder and to reflect about what is inside, and if we take time we can often go much deeper as far as our spiritual life is concerned than we can if there’s constant distraction.”  And he leaves us with this: “that place of quiet rest where the real you can be ultimately found.”

May we have the courage to seek out our quiet places, our deepest being and value silence. May it be so. Amen.

Questions for Discussion

• Look at the poetry, the scripture and the lyrics to Easy Silence by The Chicks.

• What strikes you about silence? What description stands out or finds a place in you?

• What do you do to be refreshed?

• What stops you? How do you know when you need it? What can you do to make that space for yourself?