Reflection by Abby Laudi
For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Abby Laudi. I am from Minnesota but went to Creighton for undergrad, and now am a fourth-year medical student at Creighton planning on pursuing pediatrics. I was brought up in a very stereotypical Catholic church environment, never skipping one week of church per my parents’ rules. I completed all the sacraments, took all the tests, memorized the psalms. There’s a lot wrong with the Catholic church as an institution, but honestly, I was very oblivious to these things growing up. I loved singing in church, I loved having my school friends and their families in the pews around us. But mostly I loved that my family- my parents and three younger sisters- no matter what our weeks looked like, we would spend an hour each week forced to sit next to each other regardless of what was going on at home. My dad worked a lot, and to this day he still loves Catholic mass, so it was an hour where he would not distract himself with work and we could all spend some time together.
The first time I came to Urban Abbey was 6 years ago during my junior year of undergrad, I came by myself as a break from studying for a board exam. The door was open wide, and the sun was shining, and I walked in right as Sierra was giving the welcome message. There were so many people that people were sitting on the floor near the coffee bar. Also, there was coffee?!?! I didn’t even care it was free, the fact that you could drink it during church and not get condemned by an old man in a robe?! Wild. I saw men holding hands with men, women holding hands with women, all these people attending represented diversity and acceptance to me. I was quickly welcomed at a table sitting next to kind strangers. I don’t remember much about what was said or what songs Kyle sang, but I do remember crying. I’ve never cried in church because of something positive before. This had a real impact on me, and I’ve been calling this my church ever since.
So, what does urban abbey mean to me? It means consistency. Medical school changes your life from month to month, giving you new responsibilities and constantly taking you outside your comfort zone. The most accurate analogy I’ve heard about med school is that It’s a train that never slows down. if you want to get off if you’re motion sick or tired from being on the train, if you step off you may get left behind. There have been very few constants in my life for the past four years. The Urban Abbey is one of them.
What does Urban Abbey mean to me? Acceptance, and not just acceptance of every human being who walks in here, because we all know that about this place, but it is the acceptance of simple life things I’ve also noticed that is so different from my church I grew up attending. Here, I have never been reprimanded on my clothing attire- no one’s ever commented on my outfits being too short, too much shoulder exposure, not dressy enough when I wear workout clothes. I have never been shushed or scolded by those I’m sitting next to because I whispered something to my neighbor. I’ve never heard the priest condemn a crying baby or put families at risk of disturbing the peace in a “cry room” which separated families from the rest of the congregation incase their kids caused trouble. I’ve never felt Debra’s wrath on my inconsistency to show up every Sunday, and she always welcomes me in even though I know I could do better and be a better member. She wants to see me for me, not because there’s an attendance policy. There is literally a big fluffy dog that joins church and gets communion.
What does Urban Abbey mean to me? It means strength. Not only strength because Debra comments on her bewilderment that the Urban abbey is still growing strong despite multiple roadblocks over the past ten years. It means strength because in here, men cry. Strangers literally lean on each other. People sing together. I was in here when I found out a close family friend died after his long battle with cancer, and I bawled in that corner and there was no other place I would have preferred to receive that news. Strength is vulnerability and is openly welcomed in every service.
Finally, and most importantly, Urban Abbey means the celebration of love. Of whatever definition or portrayal of love you choose, here you can celebrate it. Ryan and I got engaged during the pandemic, and we didn’t have a big celebration with family and friends. But Debra wanted us to feel hopeful and excited about this new step in our relationship regardless of our fears of the unknown. She invited us in here and blessed us and our engagement and shared it with members online who were watching that service. And when we started discussing the ceremony, there was no question we were not taking no for an answer, someone from urban abbey was going to marry us.
I am grateful to have been a part of this community for 6 out of its 10 years of existence. Ryan and I don’t know where we will be placed for residency until March, but wherever in the world we live, there will only be one coffee shop bookstore church that we can call home.