Blessed are the Boundaries: Vashti Says No
Scripture: Matthew 5:5
‘Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Scripture: Esther 1: 10-12
“On the seventh day, when the king was merry with wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who attended him, to bring Queen Vashti before the king, wearing the royal crown, in order to show the peoples and the officials her beauty; for she was fair to behold. But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command. At this the king was enraged, and his anger burned within him.”
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We know a few things about Queen Vashti: She is the queen of a powerful empire, her husband thinks she is fair to behold, and they are hosting a great party. If you take a look at the book of Esther, you will find this is an epic party...180 days of food and drink and entertainment, the king hosts the men; heads of state, trade partners and powerful people. He spares no expense. Queen Vashti hosts their wives... that's how they roll, two separate parties. And then the King has a great King-ly idea (like when the Grinch has a really Grinch-y idea and his whole face curls with Grinch-y delight). What is the one thing that can make his party even better - showing off his trophy wife. So he calls for the servants, the eunuchs, a group of men whose masculinity didn’t threaten the king, and sends them to invite the queen to appear in her royal signet or royal crown. It is possible this means appear only in your royal crown or with your royal symbol. So the king, “merry with wine,” asks his wife to appear, perhaps nearly nude before a hall of intoxicated men, and she says no. She says no to the king - a man who never hears no from anyone. This could not have been an easy choice. Later we learn Esther could be killed for speaking to the king without being invited to speak to him first. Literally seen but not heard. Vashti risks it all and says no.She decides her worth and value, she chooses to stand up for herself.
This is perhaps the no heard ‘round the world. It creates a national crisis, all of the king’s advisors gather because they fear the word getting out. If the queen can say no to the king then wives may say no to their husbands. And this is a real problem!
“Then Memucan said in the presence of the king and the officials, ‘Not only has Queen Vashti done wrong to the king, but also to all the officials and all the peoples who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. For this deed of the queen will be made known to all women, causing them to look with contempt on their husbands, since they will say, “King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, and she did not come.” This very day the noble ladies of Persia and Media who have heard of the queen’s behavior will rebel against the king’s officials, and there will be no end of contempt and wrath!” Esther 1:16-18
In the end the advisors send a decree to every corner of the empire that Queen Vashti will never be invited before the king again. I like to imagine her saying, “Oh Thank God.” The fact that she avoids execution if probably a miracle.
Vashti comes up again throughout history as a dangerous woman. A woman you shouldn’t be like if you’re a girl, and a woman you shouldn’t seek out if you’re a boy who likes girls. Thousands of years of history share her story as an example of what not to do and how not to behave. Don’t set off a national crisis, just comply with your king/husband when he asks you to show up in a crown surrounded by intoxicated men. She is the shrew who isn’t tamed, she is a troublesome woman... the opposite of meek and mild.
The church has a history saying, “Be meek, blessed are the meek;” honoring the meek. We picture meek in Mary, quiet, glancing down at the manger. We, the church, have used meek in ways that serve the not so meek. Reminding enslaved people they are blessed, being meek and poor. Reminding women to be meek when they name the violence of husbands. Or reminding children to be meek when they name abuse at the hands of the powerful - particularly if they are clergy. We use meek when it suits the status quo. But when Jesus says blessed are the meek, he does not mean be a doormat or just be cool with maintaining the status quo. Meek actually resonates with worth, knowing who you are, knowing you belong in God’s family, knowing you are created in the image of a loving God and so you are sacred. Blessed are the meek is a blessing for those who will not be measured up against someone’s standards, your power is not about the worlds measure of power regardless of if that is based on race, gender, economic status, age, dress size, and any other measure the world sets out. Blessed are the meek, I think is most powerfully expressed in Mary and not the Mary we have simplified over history. Mary speaks up in the Gospels. She is not the quiet, turtleneck wearing statue we always see opposite of a wild haired Eve at the church door. She is pregnant when she shouldn’t be pregnant. And rather than feeling ashamed of herself she says, “I help you see God, “my soul magnifies the Lord.” She sings a song about God throwing the powerful from their thrones and lifting up the lowly. Meek is not about being a quiet doormat for the status quo; meek Mary sings about God sending the rich away hungry. Mary is meek enough to be bold and resilient and courageous because she knows she is a part of God.
We have a history we must name and change. We have misused meek. I have heard the stories of women who have confided in their male clergy about domestic violence and they have been met with an encouragement to be meek, that this is the cross they must bear. Women and children have named church leaders as perpetrators of assault; and the church leaders of all denominations have defaulted to institutional protection, rather than a call to action to forever change the church and the world. We must honor Me Too stories from the past and the present so the future looks differently.
I believe part of this work towards a new future asks us to think about the words we use for God. We historically name God as He, we are “his children,” and we pray to our Father and sometimes our God and King. In 1973 Mary Daly reminded us that the way we name the sacred impacts how we see each other and ourselves, she said, “If God is a male, then the male is god.” She noted how we value masculinity. I see this when occasionally I slip a She into a conversation about God. Sometimes I get a “Wow,” a curious, happy, interested, surprised, wow. And sometimes I get a “Wow,” an unbelievable how could you would insult God with feminine pronoun, wow. It catches people off guard. We swim in culture of masculinity for God and I propose that if we could dive deep into our tradition and lift up more diverse images of God we might transform the way we see the sacred in others. God is a mother giving birth, a nursing mother, a tender comforting mother, a mother hen gathering her chicks and the two most intense I think must be the mother bear and the mother eagle…to which I say do not mess with her babies. We have lady wisdom to learn with and we are from the start all formed in the image of God. We are gifted with diverse and beautiful names for God because all of them fall short and all of them are needed to help us find our way.
When I was in seminary, a Ph.D. student assisted in one of my classes. He was not a part of the United Methodist Tradition and he invited conversation around an article that suggested women were to be excluded from church leadership because they don’t resemble Jesus. Men most resemble Jesus. I proposed that “resembling Jesus” might invite us to courageous leadership, participation in healing, a willingness to take risks, and servant leadership. Perhaps that resemblance was more important than physically being a male church leader. He disagreed. He named how some people, particularly women, needed a male clergy person, for him it really was about a particular body. I alway wish I had suggested that the Christian Church only hire 30 year old, Middle Eastern, Jewish men from Palestine to serve as priest, clergy and pastor. If we are going to really focus on the body, let’s focus on the body. I suspect he wouldn’t have been willing to take resemblance that far and disqualify himself.
We are in a faith of incarnation, God embodied in us and around us and through us. But we get hung up on the culture’s values of who is in charge, who is powerful, who is worthy; rather than living into Jesus’s message of abundance and blessing that is extended out beyond all of the boundaries we create. If we can see each other as sacred I believe we will treat each other as sacred. That means getting God out of our boxes particularly of masculinity. If we sang of God as mother, would it change how we cared for mothers after birth? If we saw the divine in girls and women, would we act to change an epidemic of sexual violence on our college campus? If we took seriously seeing God in the vulnerable baby, laying in a manger, would it change how we see the poor children longing for a safe place to call home? If we explored the images of God as mountain and God as living water, would it give us pause before mining the hillside or polluting the stream?
Our tradition pushes us to see God beyond He. We can see God in He, She, and They. We can imagine God as a vulnerable baby in a manger, we can see the sacred in Vashti’s no, we can celebrate courage in Mary’s song about God lifting up the lowly. We can celebrate God in the meek, the truly meek - self-possessed and living into God’s big dream.
May it be so. Amen
Questions for discussion:
• What image of God did you grow up with? What does it feel like to add a new image? How is that hard?
• What do you hear in Vashti’s story?
• What do you hear in Mary’s song and the images we see of Mary?
• How can you be an advocate for seeing the sacred in people the world doesn’t value?